Jump Down
by Mariel Gullwhacker
Summary: M/D songfic to B*Witched's 'Jump Down'. Mariel's POV, mild angst, and I get annoyed with 'Romeo and Juliet'.


A/N: Hello! Mariel/Dandin songfic today! *bounces up and down happily* OK, so maybe I'm just a little hyperactive. I'm watching the _Redwall_ video as I write this, and I've never seen the TV programme, so I'm doing a weird sort of dance between the computer and the TV. The song is B*Witched's _Jump Down_ from _Awake And Breathe_. Abbot Mortimer's beginning to annoy me now, though. He's just refused to attack Cluny's army again. I am far too bloodthirsty to let that go.

Anyway, this contains a rant against _Romeo and Juliet_. I love the play really, but I just find it a bit…off, how Romeo and Juliet's tragic love is called true love, when a love that's peaceful and happy is hardly ever called that. In my head, if you love someone for themselves, not because of their looks or you're in love with love itself not them, then that's true love, no matter who it is, brother, sister, stranger, friend, no matter what kind of love, family, romantic, pity, etc. – well, I'm going to shut up now.

**__**

Jump Down

I woke up to find

Your face on my mind

It's just annoying now. Every moment of every day. I swear, if I wake up tomorrow and find…let's just say that I will scream. Loudly. 

I got distracted yesterday when we were fighting those vermin. Did you have to put your arm round me? I didn't need it. I was fine. Then you hug me. Is it any wonder that I lost my train of thought? Of course, if I said this to you, you'd say something along the lines of: "Is this what I get for trying to be a good friend?" Or, worse, you'd realise why I was so embarrassed, and I'd never live it down.

Falling in love with your best friend has more complications than I thought.

__

The sun always shines

On my garden

You're always there. I'm not going to complain. I'm _not_ going to complain.

It hurts, doesn't it?

When I'm with you – most of the time – I see that you love me in every gesture. Love me as a friend. We're inseparable, and sometimes…I just wish I could get away. Sort out my feelings. Clear my head.

It still hurts, doesn't it?

I've tried that. It doesn't work. I just want to get back to you and talk. Fight vermin. Eat meals cooked over the campfire or in the Abbey kitchen. It feels as if I'm missing some vital part of me.

Wonderful. A no-win situation. Just one problem.

I don't believe in the no-win scenario. There's always a way out. Of course, Dark Forest is always a popular choice.

Hahaha. Not worth it. Besides, I _like_ living. It's fun and interesting. What's the point of killing yourself over love? It's a beautiful, fantastic thing – and yet, quite easy to live without. What's the saying? It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Disturbingly true.

__

I told you before

Just knock on my door

I said once that I'd always be there for you if you wanted me. Just that. You replied that:

"Thanks. I'll be there for you, too."

You looked as if you'd never contemplated anything else. Then we shared a sort of one-armed hug and walked off in opposite directions. We didn't speak to each other for about three days after that. It was too uncomfortable.

It was too uncomfortable to say that I'll always be there to give a helping hand! Imagine what it'd be like if I said I was in love with you!

No _thanks_. I have my pride, you know.

__

'Cause you know the score

It's my party

Well, at least you know I care about you. Maybe you don't know how _much_ I care, but we're friends, right? That counts for something, I hope.

Perhaps it doesn't, though. Perhaps you just think of me as a lukewarm friend – but if that was all, you wouldn't have stayed with me for all these seasons. Ignore me. I'm being silly.

__

You ran away with my spoon

You've stolen my heart

Fine! I'm in love with you. You've completely messed up my thought-processes (and don't you _dare_ say: "what thought-processes?") and my way of life. Anything else you'd like to disrupt? 

__

Always laughin'

I jumped over the moon

Honestly, if I told you I loved you, you'd laugh your head off, I swear. I'm not ready for that kind of humiliation – and let's face it, who _is_?

Right now, I'm perfectly happy…well, not _perfectly_ happy, but reasonably contented with my lot. I'm not blissful – and I wouldn't like to be; have you ever heard the phrase: "blissful oblivion"? I'm a warrior, I can't afford to take those risks.

You're always laughing at something. The ultimate optimist. It drives me insane sometimes, but really, I suppose, I'm glad you're like that. It helps when we're stuck in some deep, dank dungeon which has never seen the light of day.

__

Right from the start

You always make me feel good

When Mother Mellus dragged me off for a wash that first time, you fell about laughing. I was being humiliated, did you know that? Though, if our positions had been reversed, I would have laughed harder.

You stood up for me to Saxtus before that, however, and I still appreciate that. I didn't need you to stand up for me, but I value that you backed a stranger up over your best friend.

__

Jump down

I've never believed in love

People talk about 'true love' all the time, as if it's real. It's boring, and worse, embarrassing. When was the last time you saw me blushing? Actually, don't answer that.

And really, what's the difference between so-called 'true love' and ordinary romantic love? What makes Euphemia and Orlando so different from Romulus and Julia? Oh yes, I forgot. Romulus and Julia's families hate each other's guts. So when they fall in love, it's so special, that although it's exceedingly difficult to control whom you fall for (and therefore it could have happened to anyone), that it's called true love. 

But Euphemia and Orlando fell in love after getting to know each other a bit, whereas Romulus and Julia fell in love entirely based on a first meeting, where Romulus said charming things and they were both masked! Just because they both committed suicide when they thought the other was dead, does that mean their love is stronger than Euphemia and Orlando's, just because Euphemia and Orlando had a happy life together and didn't have any obstacles to their marriage?

Define 'true love', anyway. What's the opposite: 'false love'? But Euphemia and Orlando love each other very much and I wouldn't call it false.

__

'Til now I've never believed in us

Jump down (gotta jump down)

I found a letter of yours this morning, addressed to me. It was very sweet. If I'd been an impartial judge, I would have asked if you were ill. Being me, however, I was touched. That's a fairly good achievement, I'd say. Maybe we _can_ be more than friends.

__

That's why I'm letting you know

(Gotta jump down)

I've been looking for you for two hours now, and there's no sign. Have you been learning camouflage from Tarquin or something? Probably the 'or something', knowing you.

I want to tell you I love you, you see. Only I can't find you. That's helpful, isn't it? Just wonderful. You might have waited to see my reaction before scarpering. It's only polite. Though, to be honest, when was the last time we were polite to each other? We don't need to be. I mean, we can say what we like, and we tease each other – I don't mean table manners and all that. Those go without saying.

__

You're always around

Just stamping the ground

Aargghh. Where _are _you?

Whenever I'm fine, you're around, messing up my good mood and making me laugh outside and cry inside. But when I want you around, to tell you something, or just to talk, you're never there, are you? I swear you have some kind of instinct telling you what I'm feeling.

__

The letter I found was yours truly

It's so plain to see

It _was_ you who wrote that letter, wasn't it? I'm not so sure now. You'd wait around to see my reaction, wouldn't you?

For that matter, why does falling in love ruin your brain? We're travelling alone, and we haven't met anybody we know.

__

What you wrote to me was

Positively unruly

Besides, that letter mentioned things that only we two knew. It made me blush more than once. I'm just glad you hadn't guessed my deepest secret – that I was in love with you. You didn't seem to entertain that possibility for a moment. So you _do_ have modesty. I'm amazed. Really, the things people hide about themselves…

Oh, _there_ you are. _Finally_. Right.

I take a deep breath.

"Hi, Dandin."

Yes, my dearest friend, I find it extremely difficult to even greet you. And you don't look too comfortable yourself. Only one thing for it, obviously.

I scribble a reply on the parchment and hand it to him.

"I'm going to collect some more firewood," I say as casually as I can. The fact that he's just collected enough to last us two seasons does not register with either of us.

He smiles briefly at me as I disappear into the safety and darkness of the trees.

You always make me feel

Always make me feel good…


End file.
